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If your AS/ASD partner is able to recognize his/her disability, he/she may benefit from consulting a specialist with knowledge of Asperger Syndrome.
But it must be another professional other than your own therapist.
When you recognize the incurable condition of AS/ASD, you can experience great sadness and despair in addition to disappointment, anger and loss.
Then he/she has shown “good will” and so can afterwards be left alone!
Would you not tell the truth, if your partner had been blind instead of having AS/ASD?
Leave no ambiguity in your statements to your AS-spouse.
The spouse who has AS/ASD can at best learn some practical ways to handle social situations. Your AS-spouse has difficulty capturing and understanding your need for emotional response and mutual communication.
But do not expect that your AS-spouse will initiate a consultation. He/she can exhibit irritation and tantrums when you show emotions, including anger, no matter how justified it is.
Forget all about therapy for couples, if your spouse has AS/ASD.